I Which I Make a Charge and Abuse my Captive Audience

IN THE BEGINNING of this blog, I inform'd you that I was born under a cloud of parental subjectivity and genetic misfortune; -- but I did not inform you exactly how. No; that particular detail I will reserve entirely for a blog of its own; -- besides, kind reader, as you and I are in a manner perfect strangers, you must surely realize that it would not have been proper were I to share too many stories of myself all at once. -- You must have a little patience with me, novice blogger and lusty picaroon that I am.

I have undertaken, you see, to write not only my life in this blog, but to test my opinions also; hoping that your slow and gentle knowledge of my character, and of what kind of a mortal I am (vis-à-vis these pages), each by the other, would give you a better understanding of the first: as you read further about me and my often faulty and illogical opinions, I expect that the slight public acquaintance, which is now blooming betwixt us, will grow into familiarity (and, we dare to hope, might be lacking all contempt!); and that, unless one of us is in fault (see post, 28 March, for examples one should avoid), will terminate in friendship. ---- O, diem præ-clarum! ---- then, I know that you, and you alone, will find nothing which has touched my life trifling in its nature, or tedious in its telling. When else does a young academic find herself with such a willing and captive audience? Oh, to finally be able to reveal myself in the very manner I always knew would show its truth in the most realistic light! Would that I had discovered blogging long ago…

Therefore, my dear friend, and newly claimed virtual companion, if you think me somewhat thrifty with my personal narrative during our initial contacts, -- bear with me, -- and let me go on and tell my story my own way: ---- or, if I digress now and then from this blog’s stated purpose, ---- or should sometimes put on a dunce’s cap (yes, complete with bell upon it!) for a moment or two as we pass along, -- please, do not leave me reader-less -- but rather, courteously know that I possess but slightly more wisdom than what appears on these humble pages; -- and as we press on, either laugh with me, or at me, or in short, do anything, react in whatever way feels most authentic to you ---- only keep your temper; and, if possible, enjoy this journey by my side.

In the Cause,

T. Shandy, Ph.D.