tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26422946520352835562024-03-12T17:24:05.581-06:00The Life and Opinions of T. Shandy, Ph.D.The heroine of this primitive blog is a lusty picaroon, a woman who wanders the world in search of adventures. To help a man in distress or to chuckle over a well-played witticism -- these are her simple ambitions. She knows no other motives than curiosity and an empty pocket. Indeed, she is a teacher, a writer, and a woman whose enterprises are often tedious through lack of invention. Welcome to her musings...Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-64441397815065252112009-10-31T13:21:00.005-06:002009-10-31T13:53:43.453-06:00On the Street Where She Lives..Cold winds and autumn leaves dance down the quiet street.<br />Heels clip-clop up the sidewalk<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"> </span>...the sound of ghoulish feet.<br />Pale hands clutched together as, overhead, witches fly.<br />Dark skies and Colorado moon<br /> ...suffer a black cat’s cry.<br />Lone door bells chime and glowing jack o’lanterns gleam—<br />Rejoice! All who may dare—<br /> ...tonight is Halloween!Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-42419707373241721572009-10-18T12:55:00.009-06:002009-10-18T15:00:30.960-06:00Breaking the Seal (or, "Oh, How I Miss thee, Blog")...A SAD result of writing and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">picarooning</span> -- for a living -- is that the writing I do, writing some would see as frivolous, is rarely given the attention I believe it deserves. I'm not suggesting that my extracurricular writing here (or elsewhere for that matter) is ever simply "fun." No, indeed, my (ahem) free-time* writing serves multiple purposes: it allows my creative side to flourish! I find communion with fellow writers! I keep my mind and my pen nimble for the benefit of my students! I am forced to remember that writing does not happen in a vacuum and that vacuuming rarely trumps the need to write.**<br /><br />Nevertheless, one has to actually WRITE in order to gain said benefits.<br /><br />New leaf, I turn thee here and now. Seal? Thou art broken.<br /><br />In the cause,<br /><br />Dr. T Shandy<br /><br />*<span style="font-size:85%;">I use the term "free time" loosely. I, like most of you, rarely have any time that does not cost me dearly.<br /></span><br />**<span style="font-size:85%;">In the quest for absolute <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">transparancy</span>, I must admit that I found myself vacuuming this weekend in, I was delighted to discover, a ridiculous attempt to avoid writing! The excessive stress and never-ending pressure of numerous writing deadlines has forced me into wonderfully productive "old habits" (of both writing and cleaning, I am proud to report). </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-20594270331185139712009-04-26T23:31:00.014-06:002009-04-30T03:29:34.451-06:00Ode, La Nouvelle Orléans<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CDonna%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:smarttagtype style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="Street"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="address"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:";font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">MY ASS aches, and a hazy dumbness pains</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">My sense, as though Absinthe I had drunk, <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">And emptied some new shrimps to the drains<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">One minute past, and Canal-wards had sunk:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">'Twas a celebration of our academic lot, <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">And being too reliev'd in our happiness,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">That Thou! Light-winged Drink of ease!,
<br />In some perfidious plot
<br />Of Lafitte's mean, and Abitas numberless,
<br />Screamed our success to the tops o'trees!</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span><span style=";font-size:100%;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">O for a moment of clarity! that hath been<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Unaffected by barmaid of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> girth,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Her lids darkly-lined above eyes of green.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Dance, and 80s songs, and stories of mirth!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">And of bathtub full of ice - it had seen no mouth!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Yes, a bathroom -- the likes we’d never seen—<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">With pee of others lapping at the brim.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Of a liquor-pained South!<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">O! Night of drink, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> unseen,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;">And pole by pole, left <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Bourbon Street</st1:address></st1:street> dim…</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family:times new roman;"><span style=";font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Hungover! the very word is like a knell:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">A morn knock that pull’d me from my stupor’d self!<a name="72"><o:p></o:p></a></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Adieu, beignets! You who did treat us so well<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">As <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> is famed to do [deceptive pelf!].<a name="74"><o:p></o:p></a></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive blues fades<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Past near <st1:place st="on">Metairie</st1:place>, past the voodoo stream,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Back home! and now, stories buried deep;<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">But, next post, all in spades:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">I’ll tell of visions, of a waking dream.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Our next memories? abroad! Stories cannot keep.</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">In the Cause!</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">Dr. T. Shandy</span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0); font-family: times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"></p>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-58437888294173654952009-04-19T19:24:00.011-06:002009-04-27T00:05:57.138-06:00Wherein I Offer an Apology and a Promise...<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">HOW COULD I, dear P.R., be so inattentive to this blog? To you, dear Pretend Reader… have I really been so lackadaisical in posting my latest thoughts? It is unconscionable to have left you to your own devices! And here I sit – so much to write – so much to share! Oh! – for that time returned! Nevertheless, as I am not one to revisit the past without direct and irrefutable purpose, I hereby recognize my failures -- even as I</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> pledge to move forward – ever looking to the</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">next</span></span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">post and the next – not backwards to that which might have been, but, most regretfully, was not. Onward!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Indeed, in an effort to discourage this sort of irresponsible and reprehensible blogging behavior in my future, have imposed a penance upon this “lusty picaroon” who writes before you --- I do this, neither out of wantonness or cruelty, but from the best of motives; and therefore, I shall make myself no apology for it when I return, fingers weary from the tap, tap, tapping of the keys: -- yes!; damn the cost, I shall “catch” you “up,” dearest reader on all that has transpired since last we interfaced. Though it will, undoubtedly, take several posts (written in the coming days!), in a quest for clarity and transparency, I shall attempt to outline for you [should you find yourself desirous of skipping past those stories which hold no sway], -- in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">this</span> fine post, those details and adventures I will share in diatribes to come. So, if we are agreed? -- let this entry serve, as it were, as a “taste” – a pleasant “peek” at what will follow. Guilt, 'tis true!, is a passably fine motivator, when one lacks for a better reason to write.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">To begin, I will share with you, in its rich and full-bodied detail, my latest journey: a trip I began with my long-time writing partner, a charming man by the name of Mr. Gilbert Blythe [one, you may recall, I spoke of, fondly, in a <a href="http://drshandy.blogspot.com/2009/04/miscellany-of-guidance-and-reflection.html">previous post</a>] attended a large academic conference in, of all lusty places for a picaroon to find herself! --- that den of iniquity, that nexus of evil, that soulless pit of degradation and moral turpitude, that glorious locale of drinking and dining and pleasures of the flesh!: </span></span><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">New Orleans</span></span></st1:city><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">, </span></span><st1:state st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Louisiana</span></span></st1:state></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">. </span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Though I might simply write “a good time was had by all” [for it is true we each had our own “good time”], such a casual dismissal of our astounding conference performance, of our lusty picarooning, and of our academic hobnobbing is, in truth, to dismiss all that I am -- all that Mr. Blythe and I were, academically speaking, together!<br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Forgive me while I pause to rebuke a vicious taste -- one that has crept into thousands besides myself, -- that for reading straight forward -- as though reading were a mere skill!, reading more in quest of the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">facts</span>, rather than for a deep erudition or knowledge with which an adventure of this sort will be cast. After all, our stories are "books," of sorts, are they not? Might we all agree that if one “reads” well, reads people and our stories over as it should always be, we would infallibly impart to our “readers” something that is more valuable than a trove of Blackbeard’s riches? It is in storytelling [and the listening!], I have concluded, that we retain our <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">humanity</span>. ---- But, lest we forget, it is equally true that the mind should be accustomed to make wise reflections, and draw curious conclusions as it goes along; the habitude of which </span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">made </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Pliny</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> (the younger) affirm, “That he never read a book so bad, but he drew some profit from it.” But, I digress.<br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">In addition to a story or two that emerged from our week of debauchery and academic prowess in NOLA, I will, also, take one of these "future moments" to tell you, yes, forthwith!, about my latest “editing” project. Though it, naturally, speaks little to my own artistic pursuits, I have recently been credited with some small degree of “responsibility” (dare I say “credit”?) for its creation. I’ve been told I am the catalyst, and while that may surely credit me, in my own mind, with far more involvement than I deserve, I accept this smallest and most limited position -- that of part “muse” [part “editor” – part “sponsor” – part “fan”] with, one can but hope!, a measure of grace and dignity. Yes, this latest task has been handed to me by my writerly soul mate, my life-long friend, B.F., my own “<a href="http://drshandy.blogspot.com/2009/04/in-which-i-discuss-friendship.html">Mr. Freret</a>” – he of that worldly and infamous Internet sensation, “<a href="http://freret.blogspot.com/">The Adventures of B. Freret</a>.”<br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> ------ But look here, my fair P.R.! Have you yet read over and again this blog’s previous posts,</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></span><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">as I desired you? -- You have not? Oh, but I rely on your diligence, dear reader!: upon your second reading of previous musings, you will find yourself up-to-date on my state of mind; you will recall the personage of whom I speak herein: you will observe the passages, upon a second reading, which admits the inferences regarding B.F., Mr. Blythe, and more ---- we will bridge the gap that exists betwixt us, -- but this will require <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">your</span> dedication to the cause as well, dearest P.R.; for, I proudly admit, not a passage exists upon these pages that loves or lives or breathes without purpose! </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A suggestion: when you are finished with this day's blog-reading, be pleased, and ponder well [again] the last line of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">this</span> post, where I will admit that, "It was </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">necessary</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> I should read before I write.'' So, I urge you! – nay, I beseech you: – read! – muse! – think! And, then when you return “home” to these pages, look closely to that most recent post; it will be that one which illuminates the soul and discloses much of my "true" <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">nature</span> (at least as much as it conceals my true <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">person</span>). Until we meet again, dear P. R…. I remain...<br /><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">In the Cause!<br /><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Dr. T. Shandy</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></o:p></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-55616730416682329712009-04-05T13:35:00.023-06:002009-04-27T00:24:25.887-06:00Miscellany of Guidance and Reflection<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" class="Apple-style-span" >I RECENTLY had the pleasure to spend some hours in quiet reverie with my long-time writing partner, Mr. Gilbert Blythe.* On this particular occasion [though you should note that my qualification ("particular") should not suggest that my previous encounters with Mr. Blythe did not, often, devolve in a similar fashion (if not towards the self-same topic)] -- Mr. Blythe and I spoke quite kindly about his pending wedding anniversary. I was surprised to discover that Mr. Blythe had been many years happily affianced to his amour, Anne**, thirteen in number! -- and that his affection had not waned in all those many years following that fast and passionate betrothal. Indeed, Mr. Blythe admitted to me that less than six weeks of courtship preceded his (inevitable) proposal -- and their subsequent -- and immediate! --courthouse nuptials. </span><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">I mention my discussion with Mr. Blythe in our public forum, not as -- as some might suggest-- a betrayal of private or sacred confidence, but instead as proof of my sincerest appreciation for those mortals among us who, despite all life's temptations and challenges, manage to successfully endure beyond the first seven or so years of natural marital harmony. I myself have never maintained <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">any</span> relationship [save the random friendship and a few complex familial ties] for such a significant length. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">As you may recall, it is in complicated times, such as these, that I turn again to my friend, and confidant, Diana, for her wisdom and insights. Having been married, divorced, lesbian, straight, childless, and child-ful, Diana -- though oft more vitriolic than in which I can find comfort! -- manages, with regularity, to strike some exposed human nerve in her acquaintances. I have yet to find any individual [of even passable intelligence] who is able to find fault in her immutable <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">logos</span>. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">So, to that end, I offer, for your review dear P.R., the following miscellany of "guidance and reflection" on wedding anniversaries (behaviors one might be best to avoid -- and other suggestions that, mayhap, will add to the celebratory atmosphere of these significant, personal moments of marital bliss) from my dearest, and most loyal real-life friend, Diana:</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">On Wedded Bliss & Celebratory Moments in Time</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">:</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">1. If you planned your honeymoon around "March Madness," future anniversaries WILL require similar consideration.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">2. If you ever find yourself at Taco Bell*** (TM) on your wedding anniversary, rest assured that it is all downhill from there -- regardless of the compelling reasons involving this "one time" dining choice.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">3. A spouse who "forgets" his or her wedding anniversary has likely forgotten other crucial aspects of the relationship (eg: that he/she is married, etc. )</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">4. Ostentatious displays of anniversary-related affection (ie: gifts, preferably those wrapped inside small, light blue boxes) will not dispel existing marital discord or regrets, but they can make enduring it much more pleasant.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">5. Any one who finds herself/himself married, for more than seven <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">consecutive</span> years, has been miserable at a (flexible) ratio of 1 to 3.****</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">6. If you find your spouse's family's actions or habits reprehensible, then you will likely find your spouse to be similarly obnoxious in the years that follow. Double that, if he/she considers "dinner with the parents" an acceptable celebration. Indeed, anniversaries will not lessen this feeling, but, rather, these events often exaggerate the related daily realities of married life.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">7. If your spouse's idea of "fun" is a six pack, a bag of Doritos </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">(</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">TM)</span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">, and football, then he or she is unlikely to plan (or enjoy) more cerebral outings. Despite your dreams to the contrary, this will never change. Your ability to endure such atrocities is, in general, directly related to #5.</span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">8. If you wake up on your anniversary only to discover that you'd prefer to spend the day having a colonoscopy (rather than your spouse), I recommend that you return, immediately, to bed. This day has already hit its <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">orgasmic</span> high.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">9. If you, or your spouse, must seek the guidance of a lawyer (for any reason) on your actual anniversary [and is unaware of the significance or irony of this rhetorical choice] might I suggest that you move on -- calmly. That relationship is over.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">10. If your spouse ever described Sarah Palin as "do-able" -- run. If she/he made such an observation on your actual anniversary, please see #9.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center; font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">________</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">As you can clearly see, dear P.R., Diana is a bitter, bitter woman, but one who, it must be explained, speaks from a place of disparate and first-hand experience. Nevertheless, if upon reading her list, you find yourself equal parts chagrined, depressed, or wary in the ways of love and love lost, know that I, too, remain confident and hopeful that these selected anniversary "gaffs" are certainly </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">not</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"> representative of the whole of human experience, and that alternative solutions are solidly possible.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">In the Cause,</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">Dr. T. Shandy</span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">*Any similarities you find, to the original Mr. Gilbert Blythe (of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;font-size:85%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Green Gables</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> fame), is purely coincidental and should not prejudice your opinion of the manliness of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span">my</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> writing partner, Mr. Blythe. </span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">**Anne, though regretfully named, bears no resemblance to her "green" literary sister.</span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">*** Taco Bell (TM) is used, herein, as anecdotal evidence only; any number of other dining choices are equally disturbing on one's anniversary (eg: Golden Corral, Burger King, Village Inn, IHOP, 7-11 -- to name just a few)</span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">****Though the marriage must, necessarily, be "consecutive," I feel compelled to explain that Diane is very clear that "misery" is rarely consecutive and is often punctuated by random and inexplicable bursts of bliss. Misery is, according to Diana's rules, always <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">cumulative</span>.</span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"></div>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-48557634903103892162009-04-04T17:11:00.019-06:002009-04-26T23:50:39.870-06:00Dr. Shandy Calling*<p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">ON GOOGLE did our Dr. Shandy</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A lusty pleasure-blog decree:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Where </span><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Words</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">, like sacred rivers, ran,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Through revelations [man measuring man]—</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Twittered</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> down for all to see.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Yes, twice three posts on risky ground</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Were memories and facts muddled round:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And the </span><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Objects</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> -- rich with old school rills,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">B</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">lossomed into an opera the world would see;</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br />O</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">ur hometown? [Backwards as the hills!],</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br />U</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">nfolding intersections, most colorful tapestry.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">But, oh! that mean professional chasm which planted,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">‘Round her ivory tower, a tainted theorist’s cover!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A savage place! as evilly enchanted</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">As e'er beneath that mountainside was haunted</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">By woman wailing for log ago dissertation-advisor!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And from this chasm, with senseless academic seething,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">As if this campus in entitled patriarchy were </span><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">breathing</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A mighty creativity potently was forced:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Amid whose online half-Internet’d burst</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Huge ideas vaulted like reclaimed mail,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Or like a Floridian’s ‘flock o’seagulls’ flail:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And 'mid these frantic emails, at once and ever,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">It flung up [humbly] some sacred words.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Rhetoric meandering with a lazy motion;</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Through mountains and swamps the sacred ideas ran,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Then reached their blogs -- those measured man by man,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And soon left in anonymity – lost inside a lifeless Web:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Then, 'mid this tumult, Shandy had an epiphany:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Intersecting voices? A private polyphony!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">The value of the blog of pleasure?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Creativity as it flowed from fountains!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Where she wrote their mingled measure,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">From the swamps to the mountains.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">‘Twas was a miracle of rare device,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A witty pleasure-blog: ‘twould suffice!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A lawyer with a blog</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">In a vision once I saw:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">It was an complex experiment:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">A wayward career he’d supplement --</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Writing from the Life </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">he'd</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> Lived.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Would that it would renew within me,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">[A world left far away and oh, so long!],</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">To such a deep delight 'twould win me?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">That technology offered a lost song,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">But, could I create a blog from air?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Those witty words! A new rhetorical device!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">That all who heard should read it there,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And all would cry, “Bravo! Bravo!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Her brilliant stance, her willingness to dare!”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br />I’ll w</span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">eave my tapestry 'round you thrice,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">You’ll close your eyes -- no longer dread,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">On Shandy's life blood now be fed</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">And, I hope, enjoy my corner of Paradise.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"> -- Dr. T. Shandy (In the Cause!)</span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">*Originally composed while visiting Xanadu; Coleridge's -- not Olivia Newton John's.</span></span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br /></span></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: georgia;" class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"></span></p>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-9482488752471838632009-04-01T01:17:00.019-06:002009-04-27T00:13:41.084-06:00What the Gods Hath Laid Before Us...<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">IN THE TOWN where my father and my mother dwelt, dwelt also a tall, upright, intelligent, wryly notable, good body of a young man, who, with the help of a little plain good sense, and some years full employment in the business of academic success (in which he had all along trusted little to his own efforts, and a great deal to those of fate’s fickle finger -- pray, the pointing digit, not that of his bastard middle brother), -- he had acquired, in his way, no small degree of reputation among his peers in the convoluted world of high school; -- by which with the word </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span">world</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span">, need I inform you, kind reader, that I mean no more of it than a small circle described upon the circle of the great world, of four <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">E</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span">ast Texas</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"> miles diameter, or there- abouts, of which the high school, where the good young man lived, is supposed to be the centre. </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">In addition to his scholarly pursuits, this young man (we will, henceforth, call him BF – for wont of a more respectable “pseudonym”) had been gifted, it seems, with a modicum of talent for music-making, and so with four of his peers, BF sought out a career in the industry – and, despite the localized limitations of musical success, girls did swoon at his skillful stroking of the bass, though a few others did perhaps see young BF in a different light – not as an object of adoration, but as a fellow scholar, a witty young man with promise, potential, and it should not be ignored, a fairly passable backside (“she” was but sixteen, I should remind you; and as such, her passions were often purely aesthetic -- as changeable and unpredictable as the Red River itself).</span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Despite my flighty passions of 'lo those many years ago (and more recent tendency to speak of myself in the third person), I am, dear reader, this same "she." To be clear, I was at that time a person of decent carriage, -- serious scholarly deportment, ---- yet a woman fond of words, a thespian, a word-smithing pugilist, if you will; oh! I was a writer. And, even at sixteen, I found, in some small degree, a kindred spirit in young BF: he was a lover of music – yes, a performer in all things -- if even, more often than not, of the more reluctant sort. </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Years did pass; lives were made, and new lives were forged, as we sped from decade to decade; and though my friendly high school acquaintanceship with BF lasted no longer than t’would take the ink on our diplomas to dry, I must admit that I did not forget that young man – my young BF! -- so full of youthful promise! – what potential for future greatness! Nor he I. Yet each of us had said “fare-the-well” and moved on to adulthood in the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span">most</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"> expected tradition of college-bound teens…<br /><br />These last words, you must know, fall quite short of summarizing the complicated, transitional years that would pass before our next introduction; – </span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">to be sure, nearly two decades would come and go before I would hear what became of my ‘ole friend, BF. </span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">But then – in a single and most unexpected coincidence [though I am, admittedly, uncomfortable with the assigning of such random credit to corners unknown] BF was placed squarely back into my life – both of us immediately aware that the other was older, wiser -- </span><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span">older</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span">. In the interim, it was clear – without a single word passing betwixt us – that neither of our lives had run according to the old form from which such middle-class licenses, faculties, and powers-that-be usually mandated. </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">It was the 10</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span">th</span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span"> day of the month – Oh! And how I will remember that day from here after with such fondness! – while enjoying frittering away my day, on the newest virtual gadget of social-networking – Facebook, lo and behold! What message should appear but a simple “I know you”? And, my dear reader, as you no doubt realize, though his hair was shorter --- requisite mullet now a thing of his glorious past! --- and his temples colored by wisps of grey only men sport with such quiet dignity, I “knew” him too. It was BF – just a notable, and perhaps only twice as wry as he had been in his glory days, but the exact BF (in familiar confident spirit if not teenage body) nonetheless. In less than two hours, he and I had established a mutual love of writing, our definitive passion for learning, and the need we both felt to find a “reader” (indeed a “friend”) outside the hallowed halls in which we now found ourselves age’d and imprisoned: I in a world of patriarchal and passionless academia, and he in the soul-sucking world of a barrister. </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">What we learned was that each had taken a circuitous route to professional success, and yet neither of us had encountered that oft dream’d of font of complete creative nourishment. By week two of continual email, chatting, and Facebooking, we had laid bare our souls, shared secret and sacred writing, and each had found in the other a writerly soul-mate. An old friendship – one that had failed, two decades before, to evolve past that of a one-act-play -- </span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">suddenly found itself blossoming into a multi-dimensional opera… it seems that age and time had left us both ready for something more fulfilling – something rich and increasingly robust with creative potential. </span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">We have each become, if only in this virtual world we have created [a modern </span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">world where <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">photos</span> replace afternoon meetings and a single <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">email</span> has more power than a dozen phone calls ever could] equal parts sounding board, sponsor, and spiritual guide for the other. The smallest snippet of dialogue continues to reveal intersections that stun us both. Music, humor, books – we found common ground in each subsequent detail we share with the other. Today we have forged a friendship based on intellectual inquiry and mutual admiration… How unique! How refreshing! To find a kindred spirit at such a point in my life...</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">But, you may ask, what of the future? Admittedly, ours remains a fragile bond. But, unlike those transient friendships of adulthood [which so rarely have the time to broach the difficult subjects: the stories of childhood, the angst of awkward adolescence, and the tragedies of growing older], ours is a bond that is based on an inexplicable common awareness of how far the other really has come in this complex and fucked up world. We are both eons away from that small </span><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span">East Texas</span></st1:place><span class="Apple-style-span"> town in which this foundation for kinship was first laid, and yet -- there is where, in some small measure, the kinship was formed. Yes, I believe that we grow stronger with each new personal reveal (twenty years of life has passed and must be reclaimed!) – we solidify what a simple message began with each new story we tell – each silent and solitary chuckle (he on his side of the country and I on mine) – each inside-joke one sends to the other builds a new link in a chain that links us willingly to one another. It has been -- </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span">fast</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">. Fulfilling. Fabulous.</span><span class="Apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Mayhap it </span><i style=""><span class="Apple-style-span">is</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"> coincidence, or, better yet -- do we look to fate or karma? No matter! ---- if any of these be the case, ---- pray, Sir, my BF, what have either you or I to do with it? Dare we question (if even in quiet appreciation!) what the gods have laid out before us? Friends, especially those possessing even an ounce of self-deprecating humor and wry intelligence, are few and far between. I cherish this one and wait</span><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"> -- breathless. What creative trails might we blaze together?<br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span">In the Cause!<br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt; line-height: normal; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;"><span style=";font-size:100%;" ><span style=""><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="" class="Apple-style-span">Dr. T. Shandy</span><br /></span></span></span></p>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-85400190856095970142009-03-29T11:23:00.005-06:002009-04-27T00:07:15.367-06:00I Which I Make a Charge and Abuse my Captive Audience<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >IN THE BEGINNING of this blog, I inform'd you that I was born under a cloud of parental subjectivity and genetic misfortune; -- but I did not inform you exactly how. No; that particular detail I will reserve entirely for a blog of its own; -- besides, kind reader, as you and I are in a manner perfect strangers, you must surely realize that it would not have been proper were I to share too many stories of myself all at once. -- You must have a little patience with me, novice blogger and lusty picaroon that I am.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I have undertaken, you see, to write not only my life in this blog, but to test my opinions also; hoping that your slow and gentle knowledge of my character, and of what kind of a mortal I am (vis-à-vis these pages), each by the other, would give you a better understanding of the first: as you read further about me and my often faulty and illogical opinions, I expect that the slight public acquaintance, which is now blooming betwixt us, will grow into familiarity (and, we dare to hope, might be lacking all contempt!); and that, unless one of us is in fault (see post, </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://drshandy.blogspot.com/2009/03/in-which-i-discuss-picaroons.html">28 March</a></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, for examples one should avoid), will terminate in friendship. ---- </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >O, diem præ-clarum</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >! ---- then, I know that you, and you alone, will find nothing which has touched my life trifling in its nature, or tedious in its telling. When else does a young academic find herself with such a willing and captive audience? Oh, to finally be able to reveal myself in the very manner I always knew would show its truth in the most realistic light! Would that I had discovered blogging long ago…</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Therefore, my dear friend, and newly claimed virtual companion, if you think me somewhat thrifty with my personal narrative during our initial contacts, -- bear with me, -- and let me go on and tell my story my own way: ---- or, if I digress now and then from this blog’s stated purpose, ---- or should sometimes put on a dunce’s cap (yes, complete with bell upon it!) for a moment or two as we pass along, -- please, do not leave me reader-less -- but rather, courteously know that I possess but slightly more wisdom than what appears on these humble pages; -- and as we press on, either laugh with me, or at me, or in short, do anything, react in whatever way feels most authentic to you ---- only keep your temper; and, if possible, enjoy this journey by my side.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In the Cause,</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >T. Shandy, Ph.D.</span><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span></div>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-11274968372595017152009-03-28T13:33:00.015-06:002009-04-27T00:07:42.993-06:00In Which I Discuss Picaroons, Peccadilloes, and Fucktards<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >IN ADDITION to the many posts I anticipate writing on the always titillating topics of love, sex, relationships, and life in academia (as though one could separate these four!), I also fully intend that this blog -- as my ongoing and very public exploration of self-awareness -- should be a site for continued contemplation of the complexities of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >friendship </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >(often wrongly confused, of course, with any one of the four afore mentioned topics). </span><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;">As an admitted "lusty picaroon,"* I have enjoyed my share of peculiar peccadilloes. I have made friends, lost friends, and even created friends, and yet, I have never successfully identified even the slightest, singular thread by which these relationships -- with all of their glorious growth spurts or rapid, and often painful, declines -- might be explained. Indeed, if there </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-family: times new roman;font-size:100%;" >is</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"> a thread to be found among the thirty-some-years of amity in which I have taken delight, it is likely it is I. </span></span><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">So, with this "thread" in mind, I now entertain the possibility that each of my friendships, along with the making, breaking, and defiling of such, are -- you perhaps sense that I am loathe to accept this as truth? -- a signifier of my own unique brand of foolishness, insecurities, and interpersonal missteps. I console myself with the following scrap of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >logos</span><span style="font-size:100%;">: if it is true, that I alone am responsible for the decline of these lost bonds, then [praise be!] I am equally liable for the unlikely successes.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">While I have any number of long-term friendships I might use as further evidence of my exemplary talents in creating rapport-- outside of my own word, though I imagine one might consider any "proof" I might provide as nothing more than creative </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >wordsmithing,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> and hence, just more of my "own word" --; I believe that two other avenues of discourse might provide richer data for my continued, critical self-examination. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">To this end, future posts will more closely examine 1) an example of friendship lost, including the myriad of ways in which I, no doubt, fucked it up, and 2) friendship reclaimed, via the mechanism of virtual reality: Web 2.0 (the specific manifestation of virtual friendship, in my case, has been the "social networking site" commonly referred to as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Facebook</span><span style="font-size:100%;">). </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Meanwhile, I have compiled a list -- offered in no particular order of significance or gross maladjustment -- of but a few ways in which friendships might be destroyed in the grandest tradition of personal drama and decadence. I have gathered these random examples over a good many years, and though I have been guilty of at least one of these transgressions myself, most have been provided courtesy of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >assholes</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> the world over. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >Toward Friendship Reduction</span><span style="font-size:100%;">:</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">1. Sleep with said friend's spouse</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">2. Kill friend** </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">3. Accuse friend of being "overly" educated</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">4. Crash friend's vehicle, sleep with friend's mother, and "borrow" $200 --- all on the same weekend</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">5. Get married </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">6. Travel internationally with friend </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >and</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> 27 others -- without the benefit of air-conditioning</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">7. Have grunge sex with (new) friend on a train to Madrid ***</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">8. Call friend a fucktard**** -- and mean it</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">9. Report friend to the IRS*****</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">10. Have friend deported -- even though friend was born in Arkansas</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">This list is not intended to be exhaustive, but should, instead, serve as a foundation for our future metacommentary here at "The Life and Opinions." I urge you, nay compel you! -- to seek absolution were </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >you</span> ever guilty of even a single indiscretion listed herein. Or, if the dissolution of friendship was well deserv'd, I applaud you for your grandiose, relational contravention!<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">In the Cause!</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Dr. T. Shandy</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">* Though the word "picaroon" has fallen out of favor with youth today, the </span><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=picaroon"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">Urban Dictionary</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"> lists two possible definitions for this apropos term. I would like to think that I easily fit into either category</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">** To clarify, this must be a successful "kill" and not merely an "attempt"; credible prime-time soap opera research has consistently proven that murder attempts may, in fact, prove more exhilarating than anticipated, which serves to rapidly move friendship -- though also, likely, to an inevitable "end" -- into an entirely new category, that of (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">ahem</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">) "partnership"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">*** Trains elsewhere work equally well, though it has been my experience that international trains offer a unique brand of "grunge," thereby insuring that friendship will not survive said excursion</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">**** The word, "fucktard," is in no way meant to disparage those persons suffering any form of mental handicap. It is, instead, a simple contraction of the colloquialisms "fuck" and "retard" = "fucktard" (as in, "he is a fucking retard")</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;">***** The "DEA" is also a fine replacement, depending on specific circumstances of friendship in question</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><br /></span></div><div><br /></div></div>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-89616975526183344522009-03-27T15:23:00.012-06:002009-04-27T00:08:19.447-06:00Glory to the Trillium, the Heleborus, and the Haiku!<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I WILL now take leave of our regularly scheduled posting, to bring you a few </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">haikus</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > I have written as my own humble way of honoring the coming of spring. All hail the tulips stretching upward toward the light! Praise be the daffodils, for they will make you weep at their delicate beauty! Glory to the trillium and to the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">heleborus</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, whose weird names belie the soft petals and vibrant colors of the maker's most amazing </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">bloom'd</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > creation.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">Cold, crackly, dry grass --</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">Make way for earth's green glory.<br />Sing, Hallelujah!<br />–</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oh, chattering birds!</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">Would that you might fly elsewhere!<br />Make your home next door.</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">–</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;">Birds take wing'd flight,<br />yet breeze warns winter lingers;</span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Fuck'd</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;">. (surprise!) Blizzard. </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="center"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;">In the Cause, </span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="left"><span style="font-size:100%;">Dr. T. Shandy</span></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="font-family: times new roman;" align="left"></div>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-48613480852895475452009-03-27T11:23:00.015-06:002009-04-27T00:08:44.205-06:00A Few "Bon Mots" from Diana: Love, Marriage, & the Road to Self-Awareness<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >BEING THE romantically unattached, international gadabout that I am, I often find myself intrigued -- nay, obsessed -- with the visceral </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" >entanglements</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > of others. My dear friend, Diana*, who also claims academia as her home -- yet manages an openly "tough as nails" approach to her many lovers -- regularly provides me food for thought as she shares her own observations regarding love, marriage, children, and the like. She has been married twice, taken countless lovers of all persuasions, and yet insists that every love-affair (no matter now </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">kairotically</span></span></span> different the situation or the players) always ends the same: badly. I suggest, on occasion, that endings, are by their very existence, generally "bad." She scoffs and rambles on, leaving me to take notes and wonder.<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Yes, I have collected these random "</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" >Diana-isms</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >" for some time, yet lacking an outlet for extended rhetorical contemplation, these wise </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" >witticisms</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > gathered dust, and never made it fully into my personal encyclopedia. Now that I have begun this journey toward public self-awareness (for what other "awareness" of self is there -- outside of our public persona?), I feel the need to reconsider these </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">bon</span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > mots and, possibly, even begin to consider all the many ways in which I might begin to integrate their truisms into my own trysts.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Meanwhile, perhaps you will offer me YOUR insights, oh-pretend-reader (henceforth referred to as simply "P.R."**)? Will you read and share your own realities -- your own unique knowledge of such complicated human attachments?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><strong style="font-family: times new roman;">Marriage/Sex/Love (Part 1), According to Diana</strong></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >:</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >1. All women become </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">naggy</span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > on a long enough timeline. In fact, all women believe all men need nagging; some actually do, and for the rest, nagging makes whatever "issue" you were nagging over -- infinitely exaggerated</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >2. No matter how different the men, if husband #1 disliked your unavoidable, immutable "quality A," or if he found your annoying "habit B" less than endearing, then rest assured, eventually husband #2 will too</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >3. Sometimes sex is just sex; men inherently know this, and women will deny it -- indefinitely</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >4. Women cling so desperately to their belief that sex is always more than sex, that some will go so far as to marry inappropriate men just to prove that the "relationship" was more than "just sex"</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >5. Given the proper circumstances, most men will cheat</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >6. Given the proper circumstances, most women will too (see #4 for the way in which women, generally, handle said </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" >dalliance</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >/s)</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >7. She who holds the remote and/or programs the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">TiVo</span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, has the power; get it early and keep it</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >8. All women think all men will change when they get married; all men pray all women will </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">not</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >; everyone is eventually disappointed in this process</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >9. You should love your kids, and you can love your dog, but it is far better to LIKE your spouse</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >10. "Like" is an irrelevant issue for a love affair, unless said affair, is, indeed, of the nefarious sort, in which case, see #4, making this a moot point, as #9 trumps #10</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >11. All marriage involves compromise. Lots of it. Gauge your own willingness and/or ability to compromise daily (even when the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">compromisee</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > in question is an undeniable </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">dumbass</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >), and you will likely have a good idea how content you will be in any long-term relationship</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >12. If your partner is unwilling to compromise when he/she is still safely ensconced under the label of "lover" -- he/she will be even less willing to compromise down the road</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >13. Children never "fix" anything; most complicate matters to the nth degree, in fact. Which is not to negate the value and greatness of kids, but few people are able to admit the very thing that most people, ultimately, must learn the hard way -- usually at the kids' expense</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Remember, if you will, that I never claimed Diana to be anything other than a bitter and narcissistic woman, and yet she doggedly contends that </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">all</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > of these observations -- many of which I find "</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">cliché</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > " and disturbingly over-simplified -- are true. Can </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">you</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" ><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">corroborate</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > even one, dear P.R.?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In the Cause,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >T. Shandy, </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Ph</span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >.D.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" >*As with all pseudonymous adventures, I have, henceforth, changed my imaginary friend Chastity's name to "Diana" in order to protect her immutable make-believe status.</span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" >** Because I am lacking in creativity, <em>and</em> real readers, I have opted to openly appropriate Mr. B. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Freret's</span></span> use of the term "P.R." -- his original "name" for his "pretend" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">superaddressee</span></span> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">pre</span></span> the cult-like following he enjoys today). <a href="http://freret.blogspot.com/">http://freret.blogspot.com/</a> Thank you Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Freret</span></span>. Thank you. YOU. COMPLETE. ME.</span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2642294652035283556.post-69969294766635313532009-03-27T01:46:00.016-06:002009-04-27T00:09:05.877-06:00Manipulating the Product: Genetics, Blogging, and the Power of Metadiscourse<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I WISH, as I begin this new "blogging adventure," that either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in consequence both equally responsible for the act that led to my conception, had thought for just a moment as they conceived me -- had they duly considered how much depended upon what they were then doing: that not only were they creating a rational being (one may hope), but that possibly this being's physical entire self: mental acuity, potential genius, and, yes, the very cast of her psyche (not to mention her future fortunes gained and lost) would depend on the ability of these two very human humans to raise her [yes, me], manipulate (out of necessity) decades of genetics, and somehow -- somehow -- not totally fuck up the entire "product" in the process.*</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Had they sincerely weighed and considered all of these pressing and complex issues of child-rearing, and proceeded more cautiously in my upbringing, well, I am, today, convinced that I should have made a quite different impact on the world -- different, for example, than the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" >PhD'd</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >, middle-America, humanities professor I lay bare before you.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Believe me, good readers, this brand of discourse is not as bizarre a thing as many of you might think; we are all, I am duly persuaded, on a path to becoming our parents. And we hate it. Every minute. Oh, of course we deny any such "nonsense." But, as the old game of logic demands, "If you call a dog's </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">tail</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > a 'leg', how many legs does it have?" Naturally, we all long to scream "five" (if I say you are a liar, for example, well, then, you are a liar), but in truth, you cannot turn a tail into a leg by merely wishing it so. My own life is proof. Likewise, you cannot deny your lineage (nor it's unavoidable impact on you) by simply claiming it has had none. Blood will out. Or something like that.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Take my word... nine parts in ten of any woman's sense or nonsense, her vanities or neuroses, her joys and her sorrows -- indeed, her very successes and failures in this world depend upon this immovable genetic make-up; add to this the remaining one part made up of the different tracks and trains parental guidance lures us into, and well, you quite likely have a mess.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Yet, somehow, no matter how diminished or increased we find our circumstances from that of our parents at a similar age, we do not seem to ever escape youthful imprinting; we become our parents -- if only in reverse. Yes, those who *think* they have escaped this tragic fate, are, without exception, a walking </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">mirror</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > image of their parents. Of course, a "mirror image" is, by its very definition, wholly reliant on the original it mimics; it exists at all, because the original image made it so. Reaction against our parents, in my opinion, generally results in the same outcome as outright mimicry. Naturally, mimicry </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">is</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > more annoying, but you see my point.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Nevertheless, what is perhaps more disturbing, is that we repeat this process, I've outlined above, generation after generation. We procreate without so much as a second thought; and, by treading these same steps over and over again, we eventually beat down a road -- one that appears to be as even and as smooth as any downtown, asphalted surface. And, as we all know, once we do something often enough, the Devil himself is hard pressed to drive us from our chosen path.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I write all of this by way of introduction. Having spent a considerable amount of my life cloistered in the ivory tower of academia, now I seek a different education. I look for </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">life</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > -- for questions rather than answers; I crave a deeper understanding of my fellow humans -- of this fucked-up, mean, beautiful world in which we are all forced to live. I have finished my formal education, yet now I find that I thirst for my </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">real</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" > education to begin.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In the meantime, I should make transparent (no pun intended) my belief that any journey which seeks a more complete understanding of the interconnectedness of all beings, must first begin with a smaller journey of </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><em style="font-family: times new roman;">self</em></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >-awareness. To that end, I began this blog at the beginning. My beginning.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I was born. I live. I hate. I have loved. And I blame my parents for all of it. On nights when I find myself awake and alone, I often shudder silently in the darkness when I consider what foundation my parents have laid for the thousand weaknesses of my body and mind -- weaknesses which neither physician nor philosopher will ever set thoroughly to rights. Today, doctorate in hand, I look inward for the correction to the mental and physical maladies life has dealt me. This blog is step one.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >In the Cause,</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Dr. T. Shandy</span><br /><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" >*With apologies to my godfather, Larry Sterne; likewise to my namesake, the "original" <em>Tristram Shandy, Gentleman</em>.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;" ></span>Dr. T Shandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15649249545711986397noreply@blogger.com1